


Wait For It

by musicalkiddo



Category: Smash (TV)
Genre: M/M, i feel like a tiny bit weird about posting smut but oh well here i am, i wanted to write a certain part of this but it made 0 sense without all of it so i wrote it all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:31:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5046871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicalkiddo/pseuds/musicalkiddo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy wanted to rush to him, to hold him, to kiss him so hard their lips felt like only one pair.  But more than that, he wanted to be good for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wait For It

They’d been waiting for three weeks and four days.  Well, to be accurate, Kyle had been waiting for twelve years and Jimmy had been waiting for three weeks and four days, ever since he’d gotten out of his mind drunk for the last time.

He was laying on the couch, watching four Kyles sitting at the table writing.  At least, it looked like four Kyles.  He tried to listen through the alcohol induced fuzz that coated his brain.  Kyle was mad at him.  No, no.  Kyle wasn’t mad, just upset.  Just dissapointed.  Jimmy wanted to cry.  He closed his eyes to shut out the light of the loft, and before he knew it Kyle was tucking the blanket from the back of the couch around him, moving a pillow behind his head.  He was humming one of Jimmy’s songs.  He smelled like coffee.  Jimmy tried to kiss him, wanted to kiss him, but he couldn’t move either of his arms and Kyle was already leaving to get ready for bed.

When he woke up, Jimmy’s mouth tasted like death and his tongue felt like lead.  He couldn’t kiss Kyle with that mouth, could hardly say his name.  He was ashamed.  That was the day his hungover ass swore to be done with it all.  With the booze, with the drugs, with disappointing his best friend.  He couldn’t remember the rush of emotion that came over him when Kyle was leaning over him on the couch, just that his lips had looked so soft, looked like home.

The farther he moved into being sober, the more appealing Kyle seemed.  Kyle who always believed in him, who didn’t ask questions when Jimmy announced he was done, who was more than willing to give up beer in solidarity, who covered Jimmy’s shifts at the bar when being around the bottles became too much and was still willing, eager, even, to listen to Jimmy plink around on the piano for a few hours before bed.

He knew he had to tread lightly.  Just because he thought Kyle looked hot scribbling notes on napkins at the bar didn’t mean Jimmy wanted the same things he wanted.  That’s what the second week was for, for deciding.  If he wasn’t afraid Kyle would find it, he would have made a pros and cons list.  The pros would have won.

He kissed Kyle on a Friday.  By the time Kyle kissed him back it was Saturday, because he spent a minute with their foreheads pressed together after pushing Jimmy off him, and the clock changed from 11:58 to 12:01 while Jimmy waited, with bated breath, for approval.  For reciprocity.  For acceptance.  But it was worth it, God was it worth it.  Because Kyle’s lips were amazing, and his tongue was even better, and he shoved his hands through Jimmy’s hair, and Jimmy didn’t think a kiss had ever been so hot, not even when he was naked, not even when he was tripping.  He held Kyle tighter than he’d ever held anyone, even while they were both gasping for breath, because he was afraid he’d disappear, or leave, or worse.  But he didn’t.  He let Jimmy keep kissing him and kissing him until his head was swirling and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t been doing this from the moment fifteen year old Kyle confessed to maybe having a crush on him.  (Or at least since two weeks ago when he realized he maybe had a crush too.)

As all good things must, however, it had to end.  It was exactly two in the morning and Kyle thought he was going to pass out if he kissed the most beautiful boy in the world for another second, so he climbed off the couch.  He stopped Jimmy when he tried to follow.

“This was amazing,” he said softly, “but I can’t get my hopes up.  Give it a week.  If you want me in a week, I promise I’ll still want you.”  Jimmy made a pathetic noise in the back of his throat.  “I’ve waited a long time, Jimmy.  It’s your turn.”

They went to sleep in their separate beds.

The third week was torture.  Without alcohol to help him through, Jimmy felt every excruciating moment pass.  He threw himself into writing.  He tried to avoid looking at Kyle, which only seemed to make it worse.  He over thought every detail of what might happen between them.  The only thing he was certain of was that he could not lose Kyle.  He had to be in his life, or he’d have no life.  Kyle knew that he’d saved Jimmy from Adam a few times, but he didn’t realize that he spent every second saving him from himself.  So Jimmy had to keep him around, because his love ran deeper than this need to touch and feel.  (Although the need to touch and feel was getting pretty deep.)

Jimmy was pacing the loft when Kyle got home from the bar on Saturday night.  It was 1:47 am.  Jimmy wanted to rush to him, to hold him, to kiss him so hard their lips felt like only one pair.  But more than that, he wanted to be good for him.  So he waited and watched Kyle hang up his coat and untie his boots.  It was 1:51.  In nine minutes he could have it all, if Kyle would still give it to him, if he could show impulse control for once in his life.

Kyle sat next to him on the couch.

Jimmy showed impulse control.

When he saw the hand on their clock turn to the two, Jimmy turned to Kyle, but he was too late.  Kyle was already kissing him, hands on his arms and eyelashes on his cheeks as he pressed himself into him.  Jimmy pressed back.

It was Kyle again who moved them, who stood, Jimmy’s lips still intertwined with his own, and lead them to his bed, who pushed Jimmy down and climbed in, who kissed like his life depended on it.

They were both hard when Jimmy realized he wanted to wait.  He’d never been in a relationship without rushing into things.  Shit, he’d never been in a relationship at all.  Kyle deserved more.

“Hang on,” he mumbled into Kyle’s mouth.  Kyle didn’t respond, didn’t stop kissing him.  “Wait, wait.”

Kyle pulled away.  “I knew it.  Fuck, I can’t believe I thought…” he tried to stand up, but Jimmy pulled him back.

“I still want you, Ky.  God, I…” he took a deep breath, “I want you so fucking bad.  But we’re tired, and I want you for hours and hours and hours and neither of us are working this Thursday.”

Kyle grinned and rolled off him.  Had he always been so cute when he grinned?  “Fine.”  Jimmy didn’t move.  “Well?  You know where your bed is.”

He wanted to stay, to ask Kyle to hold him, but he didn’t want to push it.  So he went to bed.

They kissed every day until Thursday, but nothing else.  For the first time in Jimmy’s life, it was enough.  Well, when combined with jerking off in the shower.

He spent the rest of his time preparing.  He bought candles and lube, condoms and sparkling cider.  Kyle was hanging out with some girl from the bar until eight on Thursday because he was too nice to say no when she asked him, so Jimmy had time to set up the candles and then sit with nothing but his thoughts for almost an hour before Kyle got home.  He couldn’t believe he was nervous.  He’d had so much sex with so many people, and he’d never once had any complaints.  But he was nervous.

Kyle came into the loft with a rush of cold air, and his cheeks were red from the wind.  It took him an agonizingly long time to strip off his coat, scarf, and gloves, and Jimmy watched him longingly.  Before Kyle could get off his second boot, Jimmy was standing in front of him, pulling him forward slowly by the front of his shirt, kissing him lightly.

“Hi,” he said softly, biting his bottom lip.

Kyle felt an all too familiar twitch in his belly, one that was finally allowed.  He smiled.  “Hi.”  He took off his second boot.  Both his socks had holes.  His feet were cold, but then Jimmy kissed him again and his whole body felt warm.  Jimmy wanted them in his bed, so he lead Kyle over.  He lit the candles.

“You really went all out,” Kyle observed as Jimmy poured cider into plastic champagne flutes.

Jimmy raised his glass in a toast.  “To us.”  They both sipped.  Jimmy took his shirt off.  They tumbled onto the bed, kissing and wrapping their legs together.  Kyle felt himself getting hard embarrassingly quickly.  He pulled away and unbuttoned his shirt slowly as a distraction.  It worked, Jimmy watched his fingers like he was hypnotized by them.  He helped Kyle push the shirt off his shoulders and then took advantage of his hands on the other boy’s back to pull him back down into a kiss.  While they were kissing, Jimmy put his hands on Kyle’s chest, moved them down to his stomach, hooked his fingers into the waist of Kyle’s jeans.  “Can I?” he breathed.  Kyle responded by placing Jimmy’s hand on the zipper of his pants because he didn’t trust himself to speak.  Jimmy unbuttoned and unzipped Kyle’s pants before pulling them down.  They got stuck on his ankles, and Kyle kicked his legs to help get them off.  Before returning to the kiss, Jimmy took his own pants off too.  Kyle almost felt like he was missing out by not getting to do that, but he decided watching Jimmy peel them off was just as good.  Maybe better.

When they were both clad in nothing but boxers, they finally got back to kissing.  Tongues on lips, on tongues, on teeth, and then on skin.  Jimmy kissed his way across Kyle’s jaw, sucked at his ear, licked down his neck and onto his chest.  Kyle kept his eyes closed and dug his fingers into Jimmy’s comforter, wanting to cry at how good it felt and how turned on he was becoming.

And then Jimmy’s lips were on his boxers, mouthing at the fabric and at the throbbing heat underneath.  Kyle couldn’t help letting out a soft moan, which made Jimmy smile.  He smiled even more when Kyle’s fingers dug into his hair.

“Can I take these off?” he asked.  Kyle murmured his approval.  He could have come the instant Jimmy took him in his mouth, but he had too much dignity to let that happen.  Instead he leaned his head back into the pillow and bit his bottom lip, letting out little sounds every time his erection hit the back of Jimmy’s throat.  Whatever qualms Jimmy had about doing this were gone, and he licked and sucked and kissed like an expert.

Kyle opened his eyes when he felt one of Jimmy’s hands move away from where they’d been holding his hips in place, and he saw him sliding it into his own boxers.  He pushed the hand away, pulling Jimmy off him and back up for a kiss, replacing Jimmy’s hand with his own.

It hit him all at once that he was touching Jimmy’s penis. The penis he’d had wet dreams about as a teenager was in his hand, and he was stroking it, and its owner was moaning obscenely into his mouth.  He moved his hand faster.  He only stopped so Jimmy could wiggle out of his underwear and press their erections together, the friction of that alone better than anything Kyle had ever felt, better than any sex he’d ever had.

They moved their hips together, and then suddenly Kyle felt Jimmy pressing a bottle of lube into his hand.  “You want to do this?” he asked, because Jimmy had been straight for their entire lives.

“I need to,” Jimmy responded, kissing his neck.  “I need to be inside you.”  Kyle kind of couldn’t believe it, but he got to work pouring lube onto a finger and then entering it into himself, watching Jimmy struggle with the condom wrapper before opening it and sliding it on.  Kyle added a second finger.  His breathing was heavy and loud, and his lips were swollen from kissing.  Jimmy couldn’t help stroking himself while he watched Kyle slip in a third finger, moving them around and preparing himself to have sex with his best friend.

When he felt ready, he handed the lube back to Jimmy, who showed no qualms in spreading it all over his shaft and lining himself up to Kyle, who put his legs up over Jimmy’s shoulders.

“You’re sure you’re ready?” Jimmy whispered, kissing Kyle’s calf.  “I mean, you want this?”

Kyle looked up at the boy he’d known for most of his life.  He’d never seen him this nervous or vulnerable, and he’d never in a million years actually believed they’d be doing this.  Before he could answer, he started laughing.  What began as a giggle turned into a full-voice laugh.  Jimmy, confused and upset, pushed Kyle’s shaking legs off his shoulders.  “Fuck you too, Kyle.”  He started to climb out of the bed.

Kyle pressed himself against Jimmy’s back, planting a kiss to the spot where his shoulder met his neck.  “No, Jimmy, stop,” he said between laughs, catching his breath.  “I’m sorry.  It’s not you, it’s this.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

“Yes.”  Jimmy glared at him over his shoulder.  “I’ve wanted this since before I even realized I wanted this, Jimmy.  I just want to take it all in because it honestly feels like a dream.”

“I just don’t get what’s funny.”

“Nothing’s funny.  I’m just so happy right now that I can’t believe it.  I can’t believe it’s real.”

“It’s real.  I want you.”

“I know.”

Jimmy turned back around and kissed Kyle viciously, as if trying to prove himself anyway.  Kyle pulled him back down, putting his legs up again and rubbing some more lube onto Jimmy until he was fully hard again.

“Let’s do it,” he said.

Jimmy pressed a bruising kiss onto Kyle’s lips at the same moment he slid himself in.  Kyle let out a moan so loud Jimmy was glad they didn’t have a third roommate or even a neighbor next door.  Kyle put his hands on Jimmy’s chest and he froze, suspended, waiting for the okay, which came in the form of Kyle bucking his hips up to get Jimmy deeper inside him.

They got into a rhythm quickly, as if they’d been sleeping together for years.  It felt less like their first time and more like their first time in a while, like they were returning to something familiar.  More importantly, however, it felt _amazing_.  For someone who had only ever screwed girls, Jimmy was remarkably good at hitting Kyle in just the right spot again and again and again, and it was all Kyle could do to keep from digging his fingernails into the soft skin of Jimmy’s back.  He fisted his hands into the blanket and into Jimmy’s hair and ran them down his back, pushing the pads of his fingertips into the skin.  Jimmy grunted a few times in a way that Kyle would have never expected to be sexy, but it worked for him anyway, making his untouched dick twinge.  He wrapped his hand around it, stroking at the same rate at which Jimmy was thrusting into him, kissing Jimmy sloppily.  He felt so fulfilled, so right, with Jimmy inside of him.

Kyle wanted it to last forever, but he also wanted to come.  He bit a spot in Jimmy’s neck and found an insane amount of pleasure in the sound it produced from his partner.  He licked over the same spot.  The repeat of the sound is what pushed Kyle over the edge, and he spilled over his hand before he could warn Jimmy, who followed soon after anyway.  Jimmy pulled out of Kyle, peeling the condom off, tying it in a knot, and tossing it towards the trashcan.  He missed and made a mental note to buy a basketball.

Kyle kissed him once, softly.  Jimmy adjusted himself so that he and Kyle were laying face to face with their heads on the same pillow.  Kyle felt incredibly conscious of his nude body, they’d never bothered to get under the blanket, but Jimmy was only looking at his face.  He kissed him again.

“That was… wow,” Kyle said quietly.

“Always so good with words,” Jimmy laughed.

“You know me, I’m a writer.”  Kyle was glad they could banter, he was afraid sex would ruin everything.  But it didn’t feel uncomfortable to talk like they used to, to poke fun at each other.  And now they also got to fall asleep in the same bed, arms around each other, legs twisted together.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this isn't too awkward to read, I kind of had no idea what I was doing.
> 
> Let me know what you think/send me prompts at musicalkiddo.tumblr.com


End file.
